do i look fat in this?

we headed to barcelona this weekend in honour of K and her impending nuptials.
things got a little awkward when 'someone' in the group gave a champagne induced confession that they may have feelings for CB (K's fiance) which i feel was the catalyst for the following string of incidents and admissions:

it came to light that K had been spiking J's coffee with her weight gain milkshake powder, (that K had been taking in order to not lose too much weight for the wedding/her dress ) for some time now. ironically J no longer fits in to her chosen outfit. photographic evidence showing T dancing around the flat in K's wedding dress was presented when T accused J of a skype related incident involving pineapples. chaos insued when J 'accidently spilt her drink over K's miu miu's...

but as the expression goes 'what happens in barcelona stays in barcelona', so the official statement is that a great time was had by all, and we are looking forward to the glamourous cotswolds wedding next month.

we ♥ long weekends

hope you all had a great bank holiday weekend. we enjoyed some time in the country as we ventured outside of travelcard zone 1 on more than one occasion... kentish town was the venue for celeb photog chloe and husband Jason's wedding anniversary celebration (J and i cancelled our weekend on the french riviera at the last minute to attend). due to the nottinghill carnival, brunch club had to be relocated to another grove- hammersmith grove in shepherds bush- a place where children live, flowers blossom and wildlife, including ants and birds, roam free. despite this, myself, J, A and KW had a successful debrief session of the nights events as well as discussing KW's impending oprah appearance (she invented the popular chanel handbag diet and has a book deal in the pipeline)

to summarise a relaxing weekend was had catching up with old friends....

... it is always awkward bumping into your ex... but a great time was had by all.

miss congeniality

while J attended to family business last weekend (aka crashed random house parties with A) i travelled to the small city of halmstad, sweden. the city has a population of about 55,688, out of a municipal total of nearly 90,000. one of halmstads notable natives is per gessle, (the dude from roxette), and of course i cant forget jorgen persson the table tennis player. not only is halmstad home to these legends but also the prestigious annual scandinavian dog pageant. close friends and former w10 residents HA and DA invited me over to give their adorable "daughter" elsa (and pageant entrant) some pointers. she was once the face of a premium dog food brand and currently is associated with a stylish dog accessories company.

however despite her success she suffers from self esteem issues as the dog modelling world is notoriously cut throat (not dissimilar to hand modelling). under my mentorship and tutorage elsa was a hit in the pageant and a great time was had by all- and lets just say its taking part that counts.

Ibiza Summer Special continued...

What Would Juan Do?

Our Top Tips!

there's a lot to see on the island and surprising contrasts so hire a car (and watch out for those side mirrors..)

drinks are very expensive in ibiza. take advantage of cheaper alcohol from the off licence*

*not while driving**
 **this has no connection to the side mirror incident

stylish hats offer sun protection

a tetanus shot may be necessary after visiting san antonio

dont blow £100K on a hiring a yacht however tempting it may seem at the time.

and even though youre on holiday dont forget your five-a-day

Ibiza Summer Special:

Our Juan and Only Guide to Ibiza
the votes are in...
beach with best view- Cala Compte

the best people watching beach on the island - Las Salinas

Aura- the best place to dine whilst potentially spotting footballers/wags/ wealthy "bohemians". amazing cocktails.

http://www.auraibiza.com/
 
 

 

top up the tan in luxury, with cocktails on tap and A list german celebs at Blue Marlin Beach Club.
http://www.bluemarlinibiza.com/
 
 

 
watch the sunset on the sunset strip of san antonio. cafe mambo or cafe del mar are good options. get your spot early, the islands people and boats gather- it's surreal! an added bonus is watching the horrific sights go past as san an is the chav/ tack/ hen and stag/18 yr old brit tourist capital of ibiza
 

 
 
checkout this interesting traffic circle in eivissa town.... try not to get arrested, or let your 'friends' use you for there amusements

and finally make sure you swing past Coco's for the worst pina colada you'll ever have and potentially catching syphilis from the loos
 

w210 bumper african edition

in wedding news:

mil & tom (aka james) tied the knot this weekend, particularly exciting as tom (james) is no longer at risk of being deported.

the bridemaids, including J & T attended the ceremony via skype.

in movie news....

Blood Sugar - the movie
Following on from the hit movie franchise blood diamond, comes something that has been many years in the making. telling the story of indian slaves that were shipped to natal, south africa to work in the sugar cane fields in the late 1800's...my old friend AM was inspired to tell this story as we were driving up the north coast to a mutual friends bbq one summer evening. AM, durban born and of indian decent began telling me of his peoples struggle and history. he also decided to include a character with diabetes, a disease that crosses gender and race. like AM and i, we believe many people will identify with this story. although i have no indian blood in me (many are fooled by how easily i tan) i have a family member with diabetes and i enjoy bollywood movies.

directed by m. night shyamalan, soundtrack by A.R Rahman (of slumdog millionaire fame).

in fashion news...

african correspondant Z (paparazzo & modeliser) got these snaps of london local agynes deyn attending a fashion event in durban, sa. Z claims that he "sat front row and agy commented on his shoes". agy's people have not denied these allegations.

curtains

on my flight back from "turkey", i was allocated seat 6C. i could smell the glory of rows 1 to 5 – that of business class, which was within arm’s reach. also, my trained eye for detail could see how they managed to squeeze three seats in cattle class vs the two spacious ones in business

meanwhile the only thing that divided us were salmon coloured curtains and a clear sign that read ‘only business passengers beyond this point’

amazing how such hideous material can make one feel like an under achiever. but what made it worse was the look the perma tanned air hostess (who could easily star in the ‘only way is essex’) kept giving me… it was a disappointing glance, as if saying, had you worked harder, and been more successful, then you too could’ve made it to the sanctuary

but lucky for me;

1. i was sitting next to an overweight midget (who tried to touch my hand at every opportunity) which made the 4 hour flight much more palatable

2. according to the uk government, i am skilled

3. i was going to see T very soon

4. T and i used to live in a sanctuary

a retraction

T & J would like to retract the below statement and apologise for any confusion caused
http://thegrove-w210.blogspot.com/2010/12/special-thanks.html

to answer your question, yes, the time machine we invested in came in handy please don't hesitate to contact us if you think it could be of use to you, and, you feel you can afford it (price list on request)
... this is what we look like now (after time travel);

i'm off to the land of milk and honey

actually, it's more like the land of falafel and hummous... what's your favourite flavour?

sky rockets in flight, early afternoon delight

T is back from her journey to middle earth
please note that this is not T - she did not go ahead with the operation

из России с любовью....(from russia with love)

today is the best day of our lives.

for some inexplicable reason J and i are both obsessed with the russian federation (this is the official name of russia). a little known fact: we are both descendents of famous russian mob families. the mafia link is the only basis of our "friendship". people assume it is great looks, that is just a coincidence...
anyway.. today is the day we learnt that our blog has a russian following, something we have been working towards for a very long time
here are 3 other reasons why we love russia:

1) russia is a transcontinental country, extending halfway around the northern hemisphere and covering much of eastern and north-eastern europe and the whole of northern asia

2) as per the 1993 constitution, russia has a democratic and federal government system, which stands divided into executive, legislative and judicial branches

3) russia houses more than 100 different ethnic groups, representing a multiplicity of national histories and cultures and distinct language groups, including indo-european slavic, turkic, finno-ugric and others

what happens when you venture south of the river...

R and T headed south of the river this weekend (J was attending to 'family business', and despite rumours has not just finished another stint in rehab)

the sun was shining, the birds were alive and singing.....we began at borough market.. all was going well.

we then headed to the tate modern.

i was having a great time.....until

i saw this...

just when i thought i had fully recovered from a certain hitchcockesque encouter, i suddenly had flahbacks of that summer day in hyde park....
we were in our usual tanning positions, J had just returned with my favourite chips ever (dorritos), and it seemed like any other saturday:
a father was playing with his two young sons in the foreground. one of the boys was called boris. i dont think boris was very well behaved because his father kept yelling his name. he perhaps resented being called boris. upon closer inspection we saw that boris was holding a massive dead bird (not dis-similar to the above)...
he was trying to make it fly, he was cradling it, he was trying to pull it apart. generally man handling a massive dead bird. his father seemed oblivious to this behaviour, so did most onlookers. (he did however say they cant take the bird home when boris asked)

J and i sat there baffled, and asked "since when is it ok to play with dead birds!!" isn't that parenting 101?
we even knew that the answer is "it isn't"... its definitely up there with not calling your son boris....
let that be a lesson to parents of the grove

on your bike

A while ago J made a potentially life changing decision that never really came to fruition. see the below email dated 03/08/09

the management team got suspicious when oli (who was cc'ed into that email, and co-incidently used to live in W10) didn’t show up to work. the cleaner told us that oli loved the idea so much that he decided he would be the first to cycle to australia for "charity". he left approximately 1 year ago... (and started a blog: http://www.cyclingtotheashes.com/)
you may remember a few of his cameo appearances in W210 the series like the time he attempted to eat 1000 raisins in 1 hour for £10...he failed (only managing 980) and was not very well for a few days after. 
we recieved word and this picture from oli today that he has made it to oz and more importantly has consumed his first raisins since that fateful day!

have a good bank holiday weekend everyone!

our passports are packed and we've taken our shots as we're out of W2 for the weekend and off to the lake district for the wedding of the year. congrats josh and elle! (lucky we got our bridesmaids dresses just in time)

benicassim festival, spain ~ where josh & elle may have or may not have met