safety first

dear W210 residents and aspiring residents,

because your well being is at the top of  our priority list, we have a compiled a easy to understand safety manual. you're welcome. xo

someone is pointing a gun to your head...

...what would you choose?

J & T love donkey

just like horses, but smaller and not so fast (so they are very portable and domesticated). you can also refer to them as 'asses'... the dad jokes are only limited by your imagination
invest in one today!

graham loves W210

last night we were invited to star in the graham norton show...

other guests included donald sutherland, matt le blanc and david mitchell. however we are pretty sure we are going to be cut from the actual show (to be aired friday, 10:35pm, BBC1) after J's kiefer sutherland bombshell. 75 year old donald was shocked by J's anecdote about the time kiefer tried to pick her up in Soho... but a great time was had by all. and graham loves the blog.

curtains

on my flight back from "turkey", i was allocated seat 6C. i could smell the glory of rows 1 to 5 – that of business class, which was within arm’s reach. also, my trained eye for detail could see how they managed to squeeze three seats in cattle class vs the two spacious ones in business

meanwhile the only thing that divided us were salmon coloured curtains and a clear sign that read ‘only business passengers beyond this point’

amazing how such hideous material can make one feel like an under achiever. but what made it worse was the look the perma tanned air hostess (who could easily star in the ‘only way is essex’) kept giving me… it was a disappointing glance, as if saying, had you worked harder, and been more successful, then you too could’ve made it to the sanctuary

but lucky for me;

1. i was sitting next to an overweight midget (who tried to touch my hand at every opportunity) which made the 4 hour flight much more palatable

2. according to the uk government, i am skilled

3. i was going to see T very soon

4. T and i used to live in a sanctuary

fuzzy wuzzy was a bear

... and J was sherlock holmes

first day back

… and to be honest, i was a little anxious. never really understood why emperor TD (traianus Decius) looked so weary – as if he was shouldering heavy responsibilities … but now i’m thinking maybe it was his first day back at work and he was a little nervous about it allsee after such a long break (10 glorious days of doing nothing – when i say nothing i mean loads of fun with T ... and others such as J, G, K, M, N etc), one begins to forget about work and how to effectively do their job. i was starting to panic and questioned myself; would i remember my lines? or would they finally figure it all out

this is not dissimilar to a situation i continuously find myself in - at client meetings. one of the first seemingly simple tasks is to go around the table to introduce yourself… straightforward non? .. you just need to say your name and job title, but for some reason, I always panic… what is my name? (i know this – it shouldn’t be a problem) ... then there is the timing thing – important not to cut off the person before you, but you don’t want to leave a massive gap, then your throat starts to pack up… and I wonder; am I going to speak in the right language?

so, after all of this, i am taking a stress leave of absence (for c. 4 days) and am going to turkey to relax for a weekend