do i look fat in this?

we headed to barcelona this weekend in honour of K and her impending nuptials.
things got a little awkward when 'someone' in the group gave a champagne induced confession that they may have feelings for CB (K's fiance) which i feel was the catalyst for the following string of incidents and admissions:

it came to light that K had been spiking J's coffee with her weight gain milkshake powder, (that K had been taking in order to not lose too much weight for the wedding/her dress ) for some time now. ironically J no longer fits in to her chosen outfit. photographic evidence showing T dancing around the flat in K's wedding dress was presented when T accused J of a skype related incident involving pineapples. chaos insued when J 'accidently spilt her drink over K's miu miu's...

but as the expression goes 'what happens in barcelona stays in barcelona', so the official statement is that a great time was had by all, and we are looking forward to the glamourous cotswolds wedding next month.

the adventures of pleasure man

expose; little red riding hood

while walking to arts club last wednesday eve (http://www.nottinghillartsclub.com/wednesday.html) i spotted what i thought was a muslim women with a most attractive red coloured head covering (and black pleather bike pants). i was confused - something didn’t add up… however, as i got closer, i came to realise that the women had a striking resemblance to little red riding hood** (or what i imagine little red riding hood to look like when she got older)

i followed her (discretely of course) to her residence. it appears that, like other stars and good looking people, she has taken refuge and now lives in w210

as you are well aware (from our other blog entries), we try our hardest to ensure all we report on is as factual as possible. to that end, we spoke to the most intelligent person we know, mrs s strawberry (she is a chief executive). we showed her a pic of red ridding hood in her hay day (english saying meaning peak of her career), and the photo i took. as you are undoubtly thinking, the evidence speaks for itself

** for the foreign followers of the blog, red riding hood is a fable about greed, vengeance and seduction made famous in the 80’s. originally, it bought comfort to lots of french children (of peasants) in the 14^th century. numerous versions of the story existed, including ‘la finta nonna’ … which translates into ‘the false grandmother’

we ♥ long weekends

hope you all had a great bank holiday weekend. we enjoyed some time in the country as we ventured outside of travelcard zone 1 on more than one occasion... kentish town was the venue for celeb photog chloe and husband Jason's wedding anniversary celebration (J and i cancelled our weekend on the french riviera at the last minute to attend). due to the nottinghill carnival, brunch club had to be relocated to another grove- hammersmith grove in shepherds bush- a place where children live, flowers blossom and wildlife, including ants and birds, roam free. despite this, myself, J, A and KW had a successful debrief session of the nights events as well as discussing KW's impending oprah appearance (she invented the popular chanel handbag diet and has a book deal in the pipeline)

to summarise a relaxing weekend was had catching up with old friends....

... it is always awkward bumping into your ex... but a great time was had by all.

guess...

...which former W2 resident, hairstylist to the stars and all round fashionista and bff is back in town for a fleeting visit next week?... if you guessed D then you guessed correctly.

miss congeniality

while J attended to family business last weekend (aka crashed random house parties with A) i travelled to the small city of halmstad, sweden. the city has a population of about 55,688, out of a municipal total of nearly 90,000. one of halmstads notable natives is per gessle, (the dude from roxette), and of course i cant forget jorgen persson the table tennis player. not only is halmstad home to these legends but also the prestigious annual scandinavian dog pageant. close friends and former w10 residents HA and DA invited me over to give their adorable "daughter" elsa (and pageant entrant) some pointers. she was once the face of a premium dog food brand and currently is associated with a stylish dog accessories company.

however despite her success she suffers from self esteem issues as the dog modelling world is notoriously cut throat (not dissimilar to hand modelling). under my mentorship and tutorage elsa was a hit in the pageant and a great time was had by all- and lets just say its taking part that counts.

exciting W210 recruitment opportunities...

to keep up with our ever expanding empire we currently have few positions available:


1) someone to open, sort and respond to fan mail. only good looking applicants need apply.

2) head gardener - must like plants for the most part and enjoy seasonal vegetables.

3) a MRICS qualified chartered surveyor dwarf- must be punctual, trustworthy, organised, good humoured and small.

please send all applications or suggestions to w210.thegrove@gmail.com


also our cleaner quit and we need a new one (once a week, preferably mondays)