Tuesday, 23 August 2011
miss congeniality
while J attended to family business last weekend (aka crashed random house parties with A) i travelled to the small city of halmstad, sweden. the city has a population of about 55,688, out of a municipal total of nearly 90,000. one of halmstads notable natives is per gessle, (the dude from roxette), and of course i cant forget jorgen persson the table tennis player. not only is halmstad home to these legends but also the prestigious annual scandinavian dog pageant. close friends and former w10 residents HA and DA invited me over to give their adorable "daughter" elsa (and pageant entrant) some pointers. she was once the face of a premium dog food brand and currently is associated with a stylish dog accessories company.
however despite her success she suffers from self esteem issues as the dog modelling world is notoriously cut throat (not dissimilar to hand modelling). under my mentorship and tutorage elsa was a hit in the pageant and a great time was had by all- and lets just say its taking part that counts.
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
exciting W210 recruitment opportunities...
to keep up with our ever expanding empire we currently have few positions available:
1) someone to open, sort and respond to fan mail. only good looking applicants need apply.
2) head gardener - must like plants for the most part and enjoy seasonal vegetables.
3) a MRICS qualified chartered surveyor dwarf- must be punctual, trustworthy, organised, good humoured and small.
please send all applications or suggestions to w210.thegrove@gmail.com
also our cleaner quit and we need a new one (once a week, preferably mondays)
1) someone to open, sort and respond to fan mail. only good looking applicants need apply.
2) head gardener - must like plants for the most part and enjoy seasonal vegetables.
3) a MRICS qualified chartered surveyor dwarf- must be punctual, trustworthy, organised, good humoured and small.
also our cleaner quit and we need a new one (once a week, preferably mondays)
Monday, 15 August 2011
the 80's are so hot right now
" Experts say the riots in Britain were probably trigged by nostalgia. “The 1980s are so hot right now,” said one. “We’ve got a big British royal wedding, famine in the horn of Africa, Madonna singing badly…. It’s totally 1985! Radical!”
According to sociologist and historian, Asbo Gunviolenz, working class British youth feel alienated by not having stuff they see in advertisements, and long for “a simpler time, long long ago, before technology, like the 1980s”.
“The mid-80s were a golden age of social upheaval,” explained Gunviolenz. “You just had to throw a brick through a window and you were hailed as a freedom fighter for literally hundreds of causes, whether it be saving the whales, ending apartheid, or ending whale apartheid.”
But, he said, global nostalgia for the Lamest Decade had seen a dramatic upswing in 80s-related trends.
“Is it significant that while Britain endures the biggest riots since 1985 we endure the biggest hair and shoulder-pads since 1985? I think not.”
He hailed the current remake of ‘Dallas’ as a major step backwards, but begged the Japanese government to stop trying to emulate the Chernobyl disaster with the policy of “reckless nuclear nostalgia”.
Meanwhile Bob Geldof has welcomed the return of the 1980s, saying he is thrilled at the prospect of “getting the old band back together to provide a soundtrack to misery in the Third World”.
“We’re already spitballing some lyrics,” he said, “although we’re battling to find something that rhymes with ‘Somalia’. ‘Ethiopia’ was way easier. Like, you know, ‘Let’s give Ethiopia some hope, yah?’ But Somalia’s a bastard.” "
http://www.hayibo.com/uk-riot-nostalgia-marks-return-to-1980s-golden-age-of-global-panic/
According to sociologist and historian, Asbo Gunviolenz, working class British youth feel alienated by not having stuff they see in advertisements, and long for “a simpler time, long long ago, before technology, like the 1980s”.
“The mid-80s were a golden age of social upheaval,” explained Gunviolenz. “You just had to throw a brick through a window and you were hailed as a freedom fighter for literally hundreds of causes, whether it be saving the whales, ending apartheid, or ending whale apartheid.”
But, he said, global nostalgia for the Lamest Decade had seen a dramatic upswing in 80s-related trends.
“Is it significant that while Britain endures the biggest riots since 1985 we endure the biggest hair and shoulder-pads since 1985? I think not.”
He hailed the current remake of ‘Dallas’ as a major step backwards, but begged the Japanese government to stop trying to emulate the Chernobyl disaster with the policy of “reckless nuclear nostalgia”.
Meanwhile Bob Geldof has welcomed the return of the 1980s, saying he is thrilled at the prospect of “getting the old band back together to provide a soundtrack to misery in the Third World”.
“We’re already spitballing some lyrics,” he said, “although we’re battling to find something that rhymes with ‘Somalia’. ‘Ethiopia’ was way easier. Like, you know, ‘Let’s give Ethiopia some hope, yah?’ But Somalia’s a bastard.” "
http://www.hayibo.com/uk-riot-nostalgia-marks-return-to-1980s-golden-age-of-global-panic/
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
summer fashion crimes...
here in the grove we love summer. nothing quite beats those few glorious hours of sunshine the great british weather provides. not only does this give us the opportunity to top up our tans (that originated in the med of course) we also get to show off our favourite summery ensembles...
as is the case with most things in life there is always that handful that ruin it for the rest of us- and by ruin i mean burning a hole through my retina and upsetting the atheistically pleasing balance i prefer. below is a handy guide of what not to do!
and as much as we love you iggy im not entirely sure this is appropriate...
if you would like to share your fashion faux pas with us, or that of others (or simply wish to send us fan mail) drop us a line at w210.thegrove@gmail.com
as is the case with most things in life there is always that handful that ruin it for the rest of us- and by ruin i mean burning a hole through my retina and upsetting the atheistically pleasing balance i prefer. below is a handy guide of what not to do!
and as much as we love you iggy im not entirely sure this is appropriate...
Monday, 25 July 2011
Ibiza Summer Special continued...
What Would Juan Do?
Our Top Tips!
there's a lot to see on the island and surprising contrasts so hire a car (and watch out for those side mirrors..)
drinks are very expensive in ibiza. take advantage of cheaper alcohol from the off licence*
*not while driving**
**this has no connection to the side mirror incident
stylish hats offer sun protection
a tetanus shot may be necessary after visiting san antonio
dont blow £100K on a hiring a yacht however tempting it may seem at the time.
and even though youre on holiday dont forget your five-a-day
Our Top Tips!
there's a lot to see on the island and surprising contrasts so hire a car (and watch out for those side mirrors..)
drinks are very expensive in ibiza. take advantage of cheaper alcohol from the off licence*
**this has no connection to the side mirror incident
stylish hats offer sun protection
a tetanus shot may be necessary after visiting san antonio
dont blow £100K on a hiring a yacht however tempting it may seem at the time.
and even though youre on holiday dont forget your five-a-day
Ibiza Summer Special:
Our Juan and Only Guide to Ibiza
the votes are in...
beach with best view- Cala Compte
the best people watching beach on the island - Las Salinas
Aura- the best place to dine whilst potentially spotting footballers/wags/ wealthy "bohemians". amazing cocktails.
http://www.auraibiza.com/
top up the tan in luxury, with cocktails on tap and A list german celebs at Blue Marlin Beach Club.
http://www.bluemarlinibiza.com/
watch the sunset on the sunset strip of san antonio. cafe mambo or cafe del mar are good options. get your spot early, the islands people and boats gather- it's surreal! an added bonus is watching the horrific sights go past as san an is the chav/ tack/ hen and stag/18 yr old brit tourist capital of ibiza
checkout this interesting traffic circle in eivissa town.... try not to get arrested, or let your 'friends' use you for there amusements
and finally make sure you swing past Coco's for the worst pina colada you'll ever have and potentially catching syphilis from the loos
the votes are in...
beach with best view- Cala Compte
the best people watching beach on the island - Las Salinas
Aura- the best place to dine whilst potentially spotting footballers/wags/ wealthy "bohemians". amazing cocktails.
http://www.auraibiza.com/
top up the tan in luxury, with cocktails on tap and A list german celebs at Blue Marlin Beach Club.
http://www.bluemarlinibiza.com/
watch the sunset on the sunset strip of san antonio. cafe mambo or cafe del mar are good options. get your spot early, the islands people and boats gather- it's surreal! an added bonus is watching the horrific sights go past as san an is the chav/ tack/ hen and stag/18 yr old brit tourist capital of ibiza
checkout this interesting traffic circle in eivissa town.... try not to get arrested, or let your 'friends' use you for there amusements
and finally make sure you swing past Coco's for the worst pina colada you'll ever have and potentially catching syphilis from the loos
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