shenanigans

josh (29 year old singer song writer from california, usa) groban’s people (huxzie boysenberry - no demographic information available) got in touch late yesterday afternoon
without breaching the nda we had to sign; the general feeling was that he wanted to discuss our encouraging views on love [read: wanted to get his hands on the mulberry bag]

his most recent album centres around specific situations he’s found himself in - where love has existed and ultimately failed. other inspirational songs are about the quest for love, and it just not working out
we recommend refraining from listening to this positive, yet almost suicide inducing record during the winter months

love is like a really good tan

a whole week after a mulberry bag purchase … i’m still totally besotted. this is true love
this epiphany got T and i thinking - although we are yet to find that special someone who we like more than ourselves, we have experienced the highs that such a promise holds 1. eros; a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love

2. grecian goddess love; love of a grecian goddess/ falafels
4. lisbonese; love of giong to lisbon on your 6th wedding anniversary (not be confused with lesbanese)
8. ludus; a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest
9. puppy love; love of small animals
3. storge; an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity (perhaps like T and i – based on really great looks)
6. pragma; love that is driven by the head, not the heart (think shakira; my heart is saying no, but my body is saying let’s go)
0. mania; obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers (romeo and juilett)
5. agape; selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly

10. pronia; not for this blog

you see, there are countless types of loves

... match the correct description to the images to be in to win (we have matched some up - to help you out... hint; there is a patern)

sky rockets in flight, early afternoon delight

T is back from her journey to middle earth
please note that this is not T - she did not go ahead with the operation

spotted in W210

a shy (but pleased with himself) looking caleb with a relaxed mysterious brown haired girl strolling down westbourne grove

under pressure

in 2009, there were 267 babies born every minute in the world (earth)

as of 2009, the average birth rate for the world (earth) is 21.4 per year per 1000 total population. so with the world's (earth) population at c6.6 billion, that comes to 141 million babies per year

as expected, there were 365 days in 2009, each day consisting of 24 hours and 60 minutes per hour, so 365 x 24 x 60= 525600 minutes per year

as stated above (third sentence) in 2009 there were c. 141 000 000 babies born per year, divided by 525 600 minutes per year = 267 babies born every minute

...but, the question is; what happens when mums to be are surrounded by brilliantly competent mums? and their generally cool babies?

example 1. indy is an inspiring model (he likes T and the work she does)… his passion is more for jewellery and fashion. it’s a new love that he is fully embracing. but this is an ambitious boy – recently, he’s also been singing and dancing to nirvana

M (his mum) is happy to be raising the next big thing in teenage angst singing genious

example 2. Jake. beautiful – no effort required from D (his mum)

..this pressure can be overwhelming (refer to jedward rendition of ice ice baby) and is enough to drive some into question their parenting skills

our ever increasing stardom has meant that we occasionally get the odd free mcqueen and balmain outfits, but to be offered a baby (even if it's ugly) is the best recognition of our good looks we've had to date

despite the below, T and i are not baby people and quite frankly were surprised the mums let us hold their little ones. but years of modelling has taught us a trick or two

two engagements ... and a public announcement

although my world was brought to a standstill ... for four individuals, last week, has been magical

we are delighted to share with you the engagement news of two very special w210 couples; so as not to play favourites, the following is (to the best of our knowledge) in chronological order

tom (aka james franco) and mil (and some other guy)it was a romantical autumn day... he took her to a special place in hyde park ...and did it there. mil couldn't resist his charm = she said yes!

sheena and dan (airport)their love is the stuff books are made of... they met briefly (while helping/ cleaning the elderly) 3 days before sheena got deported to the end of the world (canda)... so it was only fitting that the proposal took place at the customs counter at heathrow

and a public announcement:newton's third law of motion (f1= -f2) states that in every interaction there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects etc etc ... in real life, this means that M & N's engagement (announced last month) is the end of my marriage to nathan

из России с любовью....(from russia with love)

today is the best day of our lives.

for some inexplicable reason J and i are both obsessed with the russian federation (this is the official name of russia). a little known fact: we are both descendents of famous russian mob families. the mafia link is the only basis of our "friendship". people assume it is great looks, that is just a coincidence...
anyway.. today is the day we learnt that our blog has a russian following, something we have been working towards for a very long time
here are 3 other reasons why we love russia:

1) russia is a transcontinental country, extending halfway around the northern hemisphere and covering much of eastern and north-eastern europe and the whole of northern asia

2) as per the 1993 constitution, russia has a democratic and federal government system, which stands divided into executive, legislative and judicial branches

3) russia houses more than 100 different ethnic groups, representing a multiplicity of national histories and cultures and distinct language groups, including indo-european slavic, turkic, finno-ugric and others

the wonderful Winie (spelled Juanita, pronounced Whanita)

after years of being really really good looking and general marvellousness, Winnie has decided to embark on another adventure...we wish her all the very best, and know she will shine and be amazing wherever she lands

time and unforeseen occurrences

as T's otitis* takes a turn for the worst, growing concern around her ability to continue functioning as a human entity escalates
*otitis is a general term for inflammation or infection of the ear, in both humans and other animals

there is fine line between friendship and crime

as we haven’t been able to activate the monitise tab on the blog, T’s hand modelling has become of upmost importance in helping us pay the rent/ and live the w210 lifestyle we so adore
(this is a preview of her latest campaign - selling j, k, l and teh shift key)

ask anyone who is anyone, and they will tell you that summer is over

... the onset of winter brings with it environmentally low humidity = dry hands

oh no! yes! so keeping T's hands in tip top condition is as crucial as keeping her hair clean

now what is a great benefit for dry hands is the application of oil such as a moisturizer (also known as an emollient or lubricant)

i was thrilled at finding a bottle of aveda (rosemary mint) moisturiser in the condiments cupboard at work… without any hesitation – i took the bottle

you could imagine my surprise when i turned around and found our CEO standing behind me (does no one knock anymore??!!) …there was…a moment of awkwardness, but i gracefully (or so i thought) explained the situation

i was under teh impression that she understood, but i have just had a meeting request from her… i wonder if lunch is giong to be provided

playing with the boundaries of normal social conduct

odd things happen to people all the time: fact

this particular incident took place on the number 23 bus at approximately 2000 hours (8pm) on the way home last night. it would have been good if T was there - she has been working out and her guns would've come in handy (but she wasn't)i spotted a spare aisle seat next to this guy... (so far: normal)

just before mon derriere hit the seat he asked ‘would you like the window seat? … you get a better view’

i believe that in every instance/ aspect of life/ interaction/ situation/ you come across an exit point. a lot of the time, it’s not obvious …but the opportunity is there

in this case – that should’ve been my exit point… but instead, i replied:

‘no thanks’ (clearly i don’t catch the bus for the scenery)

i sat in the seat (trying to minimise the space i took up)

he proceeded to listen to some (from what i could hear) rap music… then he started singing

i might've flinched/ the evil thoughts must’ve somehow come through my usually controlled facial expressions

i think he missunderstood and thought it was an invitation to speak again... as he asked if i wanted to listen to some music? (and catch an STD?!) i thought

‘no thanks’ came the reply

he looked at me… like a concerned parent looks at a child who wants to eat a worm... ‘are you ok?’

(am I OK???)

‘i’ve had a rough day’ i found myself saying

as he attempted to touch my shoulder … my life flashed before my eyes… i got off the bus (3 stops early) and ran home

it made me think, among other things, that there are more special/ different people out there than we think... and that perhaps not all statistics/ claims can be trusted

movember...?

what happens when you venture south of the river...

R and T headed south of the river this weekend (J was attending to 'family business', and despite rumours has not just finished another stint in rehab)

the sun was shining, the birds were alive and singing.....we began at borough market.. all was going well.

we then headed to the tate modern.

i was having a great time.....until

i saw this...

just when i thought i had fully recovered from a certain hitchcockesque encouter, i suddenly had flahbacks of that summer day in hyde park....
we were in our usual tanning positions, J had just returned with my favourite chips ever (dorritos), and it seemed like any other saturday:
a father was playing with his two young sons in the foreground. one of the boys was called boris. i dont think boris was very well behaved because his father kept yelling his name. he perhaps resented being called boris. upon closer inspection we saw that boris was holding a massive dead bird (not dis-similar to the above)...
he was trying to make it fly, he was cradling it, he was trying to pull it apart. generally man handling a massive dead bird. his father seemed oblivious to this behaviour, so did most onlookers. (he did however say they cant take the bird home when boris asked)

J and i sat there baffled, and asked "since when is it ok to play with dead birds!!" isn't that parenting 101?
we even knew that the answer is "it isn't"... its definitely up there with not calling your son boris....
let that be a lesson to parents of the grove