it's the last day of the working year

you've worked so hard to get here, so have a brilliant holiday ...

from your most favourite w210 characters

xx

stay tuned, as we will endeavour to keep you posted on all things "grove" related (and beyond) during the break

a retraction

T & J would like to retract the below statement and apologise for any confusion caused
http://thegrove-w210.blogspot.com/2010/12/special-thanks.html

to answer your question, yes, the time machine we invested in came in handy please don't hesitate to contact us if you think it could be of use to you, and, you feel you can afford it (price list on request)
... this is what we look like now (after time travel);

i'm off to the land of milk and honey

actually, it's more like the land of falafel and hummous... what's your favourite flavour?

a very special brunch club

brunch club was founded about a year ago by T, D and J

once a month, we get together to discuss important matters of state (w210) and other fun/ interesting and scandalous stuff. off course, as with all secret societies this is an invite only affair… with only the coolest of people considered

last sunday marked a very special brunch club – queen S and her new hubby are heading back to the land of white cloud to name their new boat... so the fairest in the land gathered at 202

...one of the highlights of brunch was Debbie W’s brilliant yet horrific story (1. went to jungle 2. car 3. surrounded by tribal men 4. rescued by a hottie on a scooter… and Debbie W alive today to tell the story).. she tells it much better

my memory tablets are yet to start working. S has just reminded me about the loin cloths, sweat, man on roof, crazy dancing and machettes!!

... in other news, T and I have secured a place in the waiter’s soon to be published memoires (his explosive book is about different ways people ask for checks)

q; could we get anymore famous?

a; we would like to try

the problem with pleather

just like so many things in life, synthetic leather pants seem like a brilliant idea on paper. not only do they look like leather, but they are also a fraction of the price. it’s a no brainer really…

however, your mother was right - you really do get what you pay for. there is no small print/ or handle with care instructions on these puppies… so here are two thoughts for your consideration;

they are not easy to put on; they take an average of 4 to 5 minutes to squeeze into. this process might get faster given time, but cannot be guaranteed. so, try not to have too many cups of coffee/ tea. this will only lead to you spending more time in the work toilet cubical.. which just looks weird to colleagues - who do not know the challenges of pleather and the complexity that is life
also, there is a very high possibility that you will in fact get stuck to other leather look or real leather upholstery. luckily when i got stuck to the high chair i was sitting on for 40 min, i was having lunch with KW, a close friend, who was able to laugh with me about this most mortifying experience

"It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people"

a special thanks....

..to all our loyal readers. keep following! and please remember contrary to popular opinion we welcome good looking people as well as non good looking people
...have you ever wondered what would happen to us if we ate too much, or got old? J and i recently underwent dramatic makeovers to prove our open mindedness. xo

spotted....

everybody is going x factor mad this week... and whats this...?? J and Wagner spotted enjoying a romantic dinner in notting hill on sunday night!!! scandelous! especially considering she was enjoying the company of the 1 direction boys just the night before. seems like J likes an older man after all... who can blame her. Wagner is hot (and talented)

our latest crush

we don't know many - if any, who are not partial to underage (yet over 16) hotties 1 direction

our personal favourite is harry, who seems to have it all - from great looks to the cutest dimples

T, myself, A and KW got snapped on sat night after a wholesome and fun dinner with the guys

go the russians

what fantastic high to end the week on!

the russians -a long term favourite of ours and (gorgeous) fifa president s blatter, won the race yesterday to open up new markets. speculation is growing about what sorts of markets these will be

...although not confirmed, we think, these markets will need to involve really good looking people

T and i have been asked to discuss the possibility of representing. we will be meeting the igbafbs (that is international governing body association of football and beach soccer) at their headquarters in switzerland when gatwick opens for business again

enjoy your weekend!

world exclusive...

M reveals her engagement ring...

also, while she was at it, M decided to try and give me a run for my money - in the hand modeling department..

...not bad M, not bad, but stick to your day job

shenanigans

josh (29 year old singer song writer from california, usa) groban’s people (huxzie boysenberry - no demographic information available) got in touch late yesterday afternoon
without breaching the nda we had to sign; the general feeling was that he wanted to discuss our encouraging views on love [read: wanted to get his hands on the mulberry bag]

his most recent album centres around specific situations he’s found himself in - where love has existed and ultimately failed. other inspirational songs are about the quest for love, and it just not working out
we recommend refraining from listening to this positive, yet almost suicide inducing record during the winter months

love is like a really good tan

a whole week after a mulberry bag purchase … i’m still totally besotted. this is true love
this epiphany got T and i thinking - although we are yet to find that special someone who we like more than ourselves, we have experienced the highs that such a promise holds 1. eros; a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love

2. grecian goddess love; love of a grecian goddess/ falafels
4. lisbonese; love of giong to lisbon on your 6th wedding anniversary (not be confused with lesbanese)
8. ludus; a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest
9. puppy love; love of small animals
3. storge; an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity (perhaps like T and i – based on really great looks)
6. pragma; love that is driven by the head, not the heart (think shakira; my heart is saying no, but my body is saying let’s go)
0. mania; obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers (romeo and juilett)
5. agape; selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly

10. pronia; not for this blog

you see, there are countless types of loves

... match the correct description to the images to be in to win (we have matched some up - to help you out... hint; there is a patern)

sky rockets in flight, early afternoon delight

T is back from her journey to middle earth
please note that this is not T - she did not go ahead with the operation

spotted in W210

a shy (but pleased with himself) looking caleb with a relaxed mysterious brown haired girl strolling down westbourne grove

under pressure

in 2009, there were 267 babies born every minute in the world (earth)

as of 2009, the average birth rate for the world (earth) is 21.4 per year per 1000 total population. so with the world's (earth) population at c6.6 billion, that comes to 141 million babies per year

as expected, there were 365 days in 2009, each day consisting of 24 hours and 60 minutes per hour, so 365 x 24 x 60= 525600 minutes per year

as stated above (third sentence) in 2009 there were c. 141 000 000 babies born per year, divided by 525 600 minutes per year = 267 babies born every minute

...but, the question is; what happens when mums to be are surrounded by brilliantly competent mums? and their generally cool babies?

example 1. indy is an inspiring model (he likes T and the work she does)… his passion is more for jewellery and fashion. it’s a new love that he is fully embracing. but this is an ambitious boy – recently, he’s also been singing and dancing to nirvana

M (his mum) is happy to be raising the next big thing in teenage angst singing genious

example 2. Jake. beautiful – no effort required from D (his mum)

..this pressure can be overwhelming (refer to jedward rendition of ice ice baby) and is enough to drive some into question their parenting skills

our ever increasing stardom has meant that we occasionally get the odd free mcqueen and balmain outfits, but to be offered a baby (even if it's ugly) is the best recognition of our good looks we've had to date

despite the below, T and i are not baby people and quite frankly were surprised the mums let us hold their little ones. but years of modelling has taught us a trick or two

two engagements ... and a public announcement

although my world was brought to a standstill ... for four individuals, last week, has been magical

we are delighted to share with you the engagement news of two very special w210 couples; so as not to play favourites, the following is (to the best of our knowledge) in chronological order

tom (aka james franco) and mil (and some other guy)it was a romantical autumn day... he took her to a special place in hyde park ...and did it there. mil couldn't resist his charm = she said yes!

sheena and dan (airport)their love is the stuff books are made of... they met briefly (while helping/ cleaning the elderly) 3 days before sheena got deported to the end of the world (canda)... so it was only fitting that the proposal took place at the customs counter at heathrow

and a public announcement:newton's third law of motion (f1= -f2) states that in every interaction there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects etc etc ... in real life, this means that M & N's engagement (announced last month) is the end of my marriage to nathan

из России с любовью....(from russia with love)

today is the best day of our lives.

for some inexplicable reason J and i are both obsessed with the russian federation (this is the official name of russia). a little known fact: we are both descendents of famous russian mob families. the mafia link is the only basis of our "friendship". people assume it is great looks, that is just a coincidence...
anyway.. today is the day we learnt that our blog has a russian following, something we have been working towards for a very long time
here are 3 other reasons why we love russia:

1) russia is a transcontinental country, extending halfway around the northern hemisphere and covering much of eastern and north-eastern europe and the whole of northern asia

2) as per the 1993 constitution, russia has a democratic and federal government system, which stands divided into executive, legislative and judicial branches

3) russia houses more than 100 different ethnic groups, representing a multiplicity of national histories and cultures and distinct language groups, including indo-european slavic, turkic, finno-ugric and others

the wonderful Winie (spelled Juanita, pronounced Whanita)

after years of being really really good looking and general marvellousness, Winnie has decided to embark on another adventure...we wish her all the very best, and know she will shine and be amazing wherever she lands

time and unforeseen occurrences

as T's otitis* takes a turn for the worst, growing concern around her ability to continue functioning as a human entity escalates
*otitis is a general term for inflammation or infection of the ear, in both humans and other animals

there is fine line between friendship and crime

as we haven’t been able to activate the monitise tab on the blog, T’s hand modelling has become of upmost importance in helping us pay the rent/ and live the w210 lifestyle we so adore
(this is a preview of her latest campaign - selling j, k, l and teh shift key)

ask anyone who is anyone, and they will tell you that summer is over

... the onset of winter brings with it environmentally low humidity = dry hands

oh no! yes! so keeping T's hands in tip top condition is as crucial as keeping her hair clean

now what is a great benefit for dry hands is the application of oil such as a moisturizer (also known as an emollient or lubricant)

i was thrilled at finding a bottle of aveda (rosemary mint) moisturiser in the condiments cupboard at work… without any hesitation – i took the bottle

you could imagine my surprise when i turned around and found our CEO standing behind me (does no one knock anymore??!!) …there was…a moment of awkwardness, but i gracefully (or so i thought) explained the situation

i was under teh impression that she understood, but i have just had a meeting request from her… i wonder if lunch is giong to be provided

playing with the boundaries of normal social conduct

odd things happen to people all the time: fact

this particular incident took place on the number 23 bus at approximately 2000 hours (8pm) on the way home last night. it would have been good if T was there - she has been working out and her guns would've come in handy (but she wasn't)i spotted a spare aisle seat next to this guy... (so far: normal)

just before mon derriere hit the seat he asked ‘would you like the window seat? … you get a better view’

i believe that in every instance/ aspect of life/ interaction/ situation/ you come across an exit point. a lot of the time, it’s not obvious …but the opportunity is there

in this case – that should’ve been my exit point… but instead, i replied:

‘no thanks’ (clearly i don’t catch the bus for the scenery)

i sat in the seat (trying to minimise the space i took up)

he proceeded to listen to some (from what i could hear) rap music… then he started singing

i might've flinched/ the evil thoughts must’ve somehow come through my usually controlled facial expressions

i think he missunderstood and thought it was an invitation to speak again... as he asked if i wanted to listen to some music? (and catch an STD?!) i thought

‘no thanks’ came the reply

he looked at me… like a concerned parent looks at a child who wants to eat a worm... ‘are you ok?’

(am I OK???)

‘i’ve had a rough day’ i found myself saying

as he attempted to touch my shoulder … my life flashed before my eyes… i got off the bus (3 stops early) and ran home

it made me think, among other things, that there are more special/ different people out there than we think... and that perhaps not all statistics/ claims can be trusted

movember...?

what happens when you venture south of the river...

R and T headed south of the river this weekend (J was attending to 'family business', and despite rumours has not just finished another stint in rehab)

the sun was shining, the birds were alive and singing.....we began at borough market.. all was going well.

we then headed to the tate modern.

i was having a great time.....until

i saw this...

just when i thought i had fully recovered from a certain hitchcockesque encouter, i suddenly had flahbacks of that summer day in hyde park....
we were in our usual tanning positions, J had just returned with my favourite chips ever (dorritos), and it seemed like any other saturday:
a father was playing with his two young sons in the foreground. one of the boys was called boris. i dont think boris was very well behaved because his father kept yelling his name. he perhaps resented being called boris. upon closer inspection we saw that boris was holding a massive dead bird (not dis-similar to the above)...
he was trying to make it fly, he was cradling it, he was trying to pull it apart. generally man handling a massive dead bird. his father seemed oblivious to this behaviour, so did most onlookers. (he did however say they cant take the bird home when boris asked)

J and i sat there baffled, and asked "since when is it ok to play with dead birds!!" isn't that parenting 101?
we even knew that the answer is "it isn't"... its definitely up there with not calling your son boris....
let that be a lesson to parents of the grove

office politics - a sensitive issue

there is nothing more annoying (we are sure there is, but it's all relative) than going to the toilet at work, and meeting a colleague who likes to have a good old chat/ bleat/ talk

we are not sure when this transition happened, but the toilet has become the new water cooler
the rule is that we're not there for the socialising, it's a different kind of business time... so having to carry a conversation after you have gone into your cubical is definitely a no go area. this is not a grey/ conscious matter.. it's a clear no

although google is not proving helpful, there are written rules and laws about this... and even if there weren't, it's plain wrong

off course, all rules are null and void if the other person is a hottie (especially if he happens to have a map of how to get out of prison tattoo)

what's your style?

we have devised a fun and informative quiz for you to find out what your personal style is in order for you to dress accordingly ... because in this day and age its important to fit into a pigeon hole category so as to not confuse people

1. pick a number between 1-20:
a) you chose a number between 1-5
b) you chose a number between 6-10
c) you chose a number between 11-15
d) you chose a number between 16-20


2. you gave someone your number, when do you think they will call you?
a) never...as usual
b) in a day or two
c) dont know, but i will be right next to the phone waiting
d) later that night


3. i see myself as someone who has a forgiving nature:
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) agree
d) strongly agree


4. two ducks and two dogs have a total of fourteen legs:
a) true
b) false
c) i dont know
d) i love lamp

the results are in...

if you chose mostly a's you are:
classic

if you chose mostly b's you are:

boho

if you chose mostly c's you are:

sporty

if you chose mostly d's you are:

rock'n'roll